Humility

Tonight I realized something (seemingly obvious to others perhaps), that i have never given much thought to before.
I like to think of myself as tending toward being humble. Maybe it is wishful thinking. Maybe it is positive thinking. Maybe i am just trying to convince myself so that one day i may take this form.
The truth... I suddenly realized is that actually 'being humble' is like finally attaining a certification after a lifetime of studying. It is a constant work in progress and something that is always floundering.


Like just about every other human being on this planet, I am governed by my clumsy ego. A proud, arrogant, very human ego, that shies away from criticism or judgement. Yet it is so often this kind of feedback that offers us the opportunity to better or correct ourselves if we can just learn to take it in the right light, to not get defensive or let our insecurities run a mock. It is in fact an opportunity to grow.

To have people in our lives that can offer us this... is very, very valuable. Recently, i have been taking huge personal risks, continually placing myself in public view in order to publicize the project I am working on. Every time I do this is a little scary... and to be honest it just got scarier... but the fact is, i am doing it, no mater what, and if by doing it my faults become highlighted, then, well... I am going to try very hard to see this as a crash course in finding the better me, to welcome criticism and feedback, to not be oversensitive, but be grateful. I am going to try and see this as an opportunity to actually develop my humility... and actually become the humble person i so wish I was.